Captain Red Rum
Captian Red Rum and The Pina Colada Armanda is the sixth episode of Dick Figures Season 2 and the Sixteenth episode of Dick Figures. It follows Red and Blue as pirates looking for mermaids. Plot Transcript Red: (singing) Ooooooh, 13 flies in a dead man's balls sat 14 holes in a seagull's kayak, 15 spot on an ass skull Roarshack! Early in the morning. Avast ye, matester. Shiver me' portside and Buckle-swash the poop deck. Blue: You have no idea what your talking about, do you? Red: Nope. Blue: How do you like being a pirate? Don't you get sea sick all the time? Red: Hogwash! (throws up) That's just how I sneeze. Red: Ahoy wenches! Blast due southward! Girls: Aye-Aye, Captain Red Rum! Purple Girl: Pina Colada, Lieutenant Blueballs? Blue: (sighs) (while thinking) Pina Coladas? Whatever. What a girly drink. This is really good. (ends thinking) Red: Arr, matey, once we find a (autotuned: real-life mermaid), we'll be rich and famous! And handsome! Blue: Aaaand, how are we supposed to find one? (Red shows a fishing pole with a worm on the hook) Blue: Really? Red: (Casting the line into the water) Yarrr... And now we wait. Red: (Peering through binoculars) HARK! Up the starbucks bowl! Red: Hmm, Tit mermaids... AVAST YE! SCURVY BITCHES! Pink: AVAST YE FUCKNUTS! YOU'RE IN OUR WATERS! NOW GIVE US YOUR GOLD! Red: YOU'RE IN OUR WATERS! NOW SHOW US ALL YOUR BOOBS! Pink: NAY! NOW HAND OVER YOUR PLUNDER! Red: NAY! REVEAL YOUR TEATS! Pink: FORK UP THE DOUBLOON! Red: LET FLY YOUR MELONS! Pink: GIVE US THE LOOT! Red: KAZANGAS! Pink: NEVER! Red: FIRE! (Both ships exchange fire and Pink's ship sinks) Red: Hahahaha! To Davy Jones' arse with ye! Blue: Holy shit, Dude! Did you just killed my girlfriend?! Red: Pssh, no. It ain't official yet. (Shows Blue's Facester page awaiting confirmation that Blue is in a relationship with Pink) Blue: Any minute now. Any minute. (Singing while line is being pulled) Red: MERMAID! Blue: MERMAID? Racoon: Sashimi! Lord Tourettes(as the mermaid): Hahaha! Why hello young SEAMEN! Red: 'Tis an ugly mermaid. Racoon: I would not eat the sushi. Lord Tourettes: (falls on deck and gets a pair of human legs) Hahaha! All: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Blue: OH MY GOD! HE'S GOING TO...! Lord Tourettes: Oh, Splendid! Now I'm a real boy! All: SEA DEMON! Red: Ah, Kill Him! (Red shoots Lord Tourettes with a pistol, Racoon throws his meat cleaver at him, Blue pulls a string for the anchor which hits Lord Tourettes who falls into the water and gets chased by sharks.) Lord Tourettes: (drowning)...FUCK!...(more drowning) Blue: Well, we found the mermaid. Can we go home now? Red: Nay! Because, now we're HANDSOME! Blue: What?! Red: Wenches, MORE PINA COLADAS! (Red grabs Blue's PINA COLADA) Blue: HEY! THATS MINE! Red: (Begins Singing) IF YOU LIKE PINA- (end) Reccuring Gags Singing Autotuned/Unautotuned None Red Floating When Red says Hogwash and "sneezes" he appears to float. Episode Ending The "I" in "Dick Figures" were replaced by Pina Coladas The Last Line Being Cut Red was singing "Pina Coladas", first sung at the end of "Attack of the Pwns" Countinuity *This is the second time Red dresses like a pirate, the first time was at Role Playas *"Pinas Coladas" is the title of the song that Red sung in "Attack of the Pwns" Trivia *This is the first time Pink dies. *The girls in this episode might be the girls from A Bee or something. *The Racoon makes a little more appearances in this episode then the prevous episodes. *The episode unveiled the musical score soundtrack of Dick Figures on iTunes. *This is the second time Red and Blue are in a fantasy world the first time being Role Playas. *Facester is a parody of Facebook and Friendster. *This is the fourth time the thumbnail didn't feature Red or Blue or both. *This is the first time the "I"s have been replaced by something circular instead of something rectangular or oblong. *Blue's wallpaper in his desktop are the turtles having sex. *Red's Ship's logo is the same one in his ship in, Attack of the Pwns. *The woman who hit Red with a beer bottle in Panda Hat appears again in this episode on Pink's ship. *When we see Blue's Facester page the URL is www.facester.com/friendrequests.poop Category:Episodes Category:Season 2